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KISS
RATING: 9
PLAY THESE: STRUTTER, DEUCE, NOTHIN' TO LOSE
SKIP THESE: KISSIN' TIME, LOVE THEME FROM KISS
KISS's debut album, KISS is a thoroughly enjoyable guilty pleasure that proves that there was more to the controversial group than garish face paint and fake blood. It is also the group's best studio album. Of course, a cynic would point out that it's all downhill from here, but let's focus on the positives for a moment....
So what's so good about it? In essence, this is straight-ahead American/British classic rock and roll at its best; there is none of the laughably phony heavy metal posturing that would besmirch so much of their later work to be found here. The songwriting is solid, with rhythm guitarist Paul Stanley and bassist Gene Simmons supplying most of the tunes (they're also the main singers). As far as the musicianship goes, it is merely adequate, as Ace Frehley's lead guitar and Peter Criss's drumming gets a little bit sloppy at times. However, Gene Simmons is actually a pretty good bass player; his basslines are melodic yet aggressive, and he uses his instrument almost as if it were a lead guitar. As far as the production is concerned, it is pretty generic, but it should be pointed out that it does work pretty well with the simplistic nature of the songs. The only major problem is that the vocals are a bit too high in the mix, and on tracks like the otherwise magnificent 'Deuce' the Gene's voice is so loud that it almost sounds like he's bellowing through a loudspeaker drilled directly inside of your eardrum. But apart from the amateurish high school jam 'Love Theme From Kiss' and the inane cover of Bobby Rydell's 'Kissin' Time,' the songs are all pretty good. Be sure to check out the Stonesy-sounding 'Strutter,' as well as the dark album finale 'Black Diamond,' which proves that drummer Peter Criss has a fairly decent rock and roll voice (although the coda is absolutely dreadful, with the engineer slowing down the tape until the band sounds like an unidentifiable gastric disease). All in all, the album is an enjoyable listen - even if it is KISS that we're talking about here.
RATING: 7
PLAY THESE: HOTTER THAN HELL, WATCHIN' YOU, GOIN' BLIND
SKIP THESE: STRANGE WAYS, COMIN' HOME
Sounding like it was recorded inside of a gigantic garbage dumpster, Hotter Than Hell succeeds in spite of its piss poor production. Once again, most of the songs are good Stones-influenced rockers, each one lovingly crafted (ha!) and filled to the brim with simplistic, catchy hooks and good vocals. Highlights include the riff-filled AC/DC-sounding title track 'Hotter Than Hell,' a song with stupid Paul Stanley lyrics about a rendezvous with a married woman, and Gene's 'Goin' Blind,' a Beatlesque ballad with heavy guitars, a great melody, and a fabulous bassline from Mr. Simmons. As for the rest of the songs, each one follows a simple-yet-effective recipe: take a danceable drumbeat, throw in a couple of Stones riffs, add some dumb, highly questionable lyrics about women who want to have sex with them, and VOILA!!!, you have a KISS song. Surprisingly, the formula works pretty well, although the seeds of future self-parody have already been sown here. In the end, the album is quite decent, although the unusually slow tempos of some tracks (hello, 'Got to Choose,' are you still breathing?) and the record's appallingly bad production - no, make that terrible production - tend to spoil things just a little bit.
Oh, I forgot to mention that Peter Criss plays a really loud, annoying cowbell in, like, every single song. Why is that?
RATING: 5
PLAY THESE: ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT, LOVE HER ALL I CAN
SKIP THESE: ROOM SERVICE, LADIES IN WAITING, GETAWAY
KISS's third album in thirteen months, Dressed to Kill leaves the distinct impression that the tired, overworked band was running of steam - and good ideas. There is a lot of filler on this CD. And I mean a lot. If not for the presence of the party anthem 'Rock and Roll All Night,' this would be a sorry lot indeed. Luckily, the group's signature song does close out the album in typical KISS style, which comes as a welcome relief after thirty minutes or so of mind numbing mediocrity. In fact, the entire first half of the album is absolute drivel, the likes of which would not be seen until 1980's Unmasked. Take, for instance, 'Room Service.' A living, breathing testimonial to sex with underage girls that should have had Paul Stanley indicted on statutory rape charges, the song marks the moment when the band's lyrical content crosses the line from dumb-yet-amusing sexual entendre to crass perversion on an inflated, Aerosmith-type scale. Where's the subtlety, boys? Almost as stupid is 'C'mon and Love Me,' a song which officially serves notice that the listener is now entering an alternative KISS reality, a hitherto unknown world where brain cells die and 'dancer' simply must rhyme with "cancer." Oh, and don't even get me started on 'She.' As unbelievable as it sounds, Ace Frehley actually lifts the guitar solo from the Doors' 'Five to One' note for note. I mean, it is exactly the same - blatant plagiarism at its worst. But despite these major missteps, the album does kick into gear halfway through the record, and a potential musical disaster is averted in the nick of time. Barely.
RATING: 9
PLAY THESE: ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT, STRUTTER, DEUCE
SKIP THESE: NONE
As Alive can attest, KISS was the ultimate live spectacle. They had everything: flashpots, fireworks, flying guitars, hydraulically powered elevated drumkits, and even a bassist who spat blood and breathed fire. As can be expected, such outrageous - and unprecedented - antics would eventually get the band noticed in mainstream America. And although KISS didn't sell very many records, the band had already cemented its reputation as one of America's most explosive live acts by 1975 - especially in the American midwest. However, it was clear that KISS had reached a proverbial career-defining crossroads: either come up with a big radio hit, or forever maintain the status quo as mildly successful cult band that would slowly drift off into obscurity. Needless to say, there was a lot of pressure on KISS on the eve of Alive's release. Their record company was going broke, and was counting on the album to alleviate its financial woes. It looked like it was the group's last chance to become HUGE.
As we all know, Alive did become the group's breakthrough record (in spite of being a live double album, an expensive format that rarely sells well), going on to spawn a top twenty single in 'Rock and Roll All Night.' And the band sounds great. Sure, the sound is beefed up by hefty studio overdubs, but the point is clear: KISS writes energetic, danceable party rock tunes that sound best in an arena setting. From this point onward, there was no turning back - the kids loved KISS. And why not, when you have great songs like 'Deuce,' 'Firehouse,' and 'Cold Gin,' exciting tunes that never got any airplay before Alive? Great stuff.
Just as an aside, be sure to check out Paul Stanley's highly entertaining, undeniably hilarious (perhaps unintentionally so) onstage banter, as the effeminate singer screams out such memorable lines like "ith there anybody out there who likes to drink vodka and oraange jooooose?" with an almost Jimmy Swaggart-style religious fervor. But the best moments are his long raps during Peter Criss's drum solo on '100,000 Years' - I won't spoil the fun by revealing what Stanley says. All in all, this album is a lot of fun. A rare gem in the KISS back catalogue, this album is playable from beginning to end, revealing as it does the appeal of KISS as a live act. As the immortal Paul Stanley once exclaimed, "it lookths lahk weer gohna half ourthelves a rock n roll pahty to-nite! WHEEEOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" OK, then..........
RATING: 8
PLAY THESE: DETROIT ROCK CITY, GOD OF THUNDER, SHOUT IT OUT LOUD
SKIP THESE: BETH
The polished, spit-shined Rolls Royce of KISS albums, Destroyer is the band's slickest production to date, and finds the band in "experimental" mode for the very first time. Well, kind of. Much of the credit for the album's relatively interesting sound goes to Pink Floyd producer Bob Ezrin, who pushed the band out of its comfort zone and into uncharted territory of choirs, string sections and the like. And while the slickness of the Ezrin's trademark sound doesn't always suit the band's trademark no-frills musical style and dumb lyrics, Destroyer is undeniably the best sounding record in the KISS canon.
Take for instance, 'Detroit Rock City,' which is easily the strongest track on the album. It begins with an actual radio broadcast announcing the death of a young KISS fan, who perished in a horrific car accident on the way to a concert, a somber moment that is interrupted by crashing, thick-sounding power chords and driving, almost "marching" beat that unmercifully pummels the listener into submission. Paul Stanley's abrasive scream enters the din over a melodic Simmons bassline, paying tribute to the deceased KISS fan in the only way the band knows how - by turning the tragic event into a full-on, dumb-as-hell KISS party ("Oh my god, no time to turn!/ I got to laugh 'cause I know I'm gonna die"). Of course, the lyrics moronic in the extreme, but when the the bass suddenly drops out of the mix and a catchy dual guitar solo grabs you around the throat, imploring you to bang your head with gleeful abandon, you can't help but smile. Naturally, the track ends with a massive car crash, which acts as the perfect segue-way to the spunky, good-time shuffle of 'King of the Nighttime World.' Great stuff.
Also enjoyable is 'God of Thunder,' a spooky tribute to Norse god Thor written by Stanley, but growled to near perfection by a constipated Simmons. The album only veers off course during the ballads, especially 'Beth,' which is then lamest excuse for rock music you will ever have the pleasure of not hearing (it did, however, make the top ten singles chart). Nevertheless, Destroyer redeems itself with an impressive selection of party tunes ('Shout it Out Loud,' 'Flaming Youth') and misogynist ditties ('Sweet Pain,' 'Do You Love Me'), and the overall sound is nearly impeccable. The guitars have far more oomph than any previous KISS record, the mix is good, and the track sequencing is effective. And even though its highly polished, shiny nature is not representative of the band's usual sound, Destroyer is one of the group's finest moments.
RATING: 8
PLAY THESE: CALLING DR. LOVE, HARD LUCK WOMAN, SEE YOU IN YOUR DREAMS
SKIP THESE: BABY DRIVER
A return to the KISS's straight-ahead rock 'n roll heritage, Rock and Roll Over is the group's loudest, grittiest album to date, a carbon copy of Hotter Than Hell - but with louder guitars and better production. Bringing in famed Jimi Hendrix producer Eddie Kramer to oversee the sessions (he also produced Alive, and the group's original demos), KISS turns its back on glossy Ezrin-style production with this dynamic collection of fist-pumpin', headbangin' glam rock tunes. Sure, the band breaks no new ground here, but the songs are uniformly solid; the band sounds mean, and the hooks are as catchy as heck.
There really are no weak links here apart from Peter Criss's pseudo-rocker 'Baby Driver,' a song so nondescript that Criss tries to overcome its blandness by screaming his head off in a most irritating manner. Dreadful. At least Mr. Criss redeems himself with his Rod Stewart impersonation on the charming Stanley penned ballad 'Hard Luck Woman,' which is probably the album's best song. The heartfelt, slightly mystical lyrics suit the track's sound to a tee, and the chiming twelve-string Rickenbacker guitars render it unrecognizable as KISS.
Gene Simmons also contributes several strong rockers, including the melodic 'See You In Your Dreams,' the confessional 'Love 'Em, Leave 'Em,' and the brash 'Calling Dr. Love,' a chunky rocker which succeeds in spite of the infamously cheesy "the first step of the cure is a KISS" line. The trademark Simmons "growl" is becoming more prominent here, but it's still not as overbearing as it would become in the 1980's.
Mr. Stanley also rises (ha!) to the occasion with the confrontational 'I Want You,' which alternatives between what web reviewer and notorious KISS-hater George Starosin (who actually likes the song) refers to as a "sissy acoustic part and a hard-rocking aggressive part." Meanwhile, 'Makin' Love' sounds like an outtake from Led Zeppelin II, complete with 'Whole Lotta Love'-style riffs and Stanley's Robert Plant impersonation - but thankfully minus the annoying Zeppelin singer's moans and groans. Stanley's other strong rocker, 'Take Me,' strays dangerously close to pedophilia ("her fingertips were straying/ her mama didn't know she was there), but the catchy riff and fat, juicy guitar tone more than make up for this momentary lapse in good taste. It's all mindless fun, to be sure, but don't let that dissuade you from giving this album a chance. Oh, and don't be surprised if you occasionally have a strange desire throw this album in the CD player every so often.
RATING: 5
PLAY THESE: LOVE GUN, I STOLE YOUR LOVE
SKIP THESE: GOT LOVE FOR SALE, TOMORROW AND TONIGHT, THEN SHE KISSED ME
Love Gun. The album's title says it all, really. This is the moment when KISS crossed the line from tasteful double entendre (albeit of the unsophisticated variety) to tactless, unadulterated heavy metal buffoonery. Sure, KISS has been guilty of bad judgment in the past, but never before had they offended thinking people of the world so consistently, and so unabashedly, as they do here. Granted, there is a significant proportion of the population who will lap this stuff up in a heartbeat, but for the rest of humanity - God, please help us. This is officially the end of the line for classic-era KISS; this is the occasion when KISS loses the plot, where the band became slimy, perverted facsimiles of their former tongue-in-cheek selves. I guess that all we can do is shrug it off, and remember the good times....
Anyway, this album is a huge letdown. Most of Gene's contributions - apart from the poppy 'Christine Sixteen' - are uniformly weak stabs at heavy metal, as the bassist employs a ridiculously overblown misogynist growl over top of loud, monotonous riffs. As for Paul Stanley, he delivers the two strongest cuts on the album: 'I Stole Your Love' and 'Love Gun.' And although the latter's crass lyrical content is undeniably over-the-top, its energetic, aggressive tone and brilliant Frehley guitar solo make it a highlight. And speaking of Ace Frehley, he makes his first appearance as a vocalist on 'Shock Me,' which actually proves that the guitarist can hold his own as a singer. But its not all sunshine and roses. The album's worst moments are 'Tomorrow and Tonight' (an embarrassing 'Rock and Roll All Night' rip-off ) and an atrocious cover of the Phil Spector classic, 'Then She Kissed Me.' Nothing - and I mean nothing - will prepare you for the shock you will get when you press the play button for the first time. I mean the very idea of KISS covering this song is bad enough, but to hear Paul Stanley lisp his way through the song in his absolute faggiest voice is something I would not wish on my worst enemy. If Stanley was attempting to titillate a gay audience then fine, more power to him, but it is blatantly obvious that he was trying to "arouse" the ladies by acting "sexy." Yuck. What a wanker.
RATING: 7
PLAY THESE: DETROIT ROCK CITY, ROCKET RIDE, LARGER THAN LIFE
SKIP THESE: ANY WAY YOU WANT IT
A cynical Christmas season record company cash-in, Alive II is nevertheless a solid collection of live performances and studio cuts that almost matches the excitement of the original Alive. Like its predecessor, Alive II features the best tracks from the previous three studio albums, but differs from the Alive in that it contains five new studio cuts to lure KISS fans who otherwise may not have been interested in buying yet another live compilation.
The studio tracks are all quite enjoyable, with the notable exception of 'Any Way You Want It,' a cheesy Dave Clarke Five cover that sounds amateurish in comparison with the other material. Apart from that, the new songs are pretty good, especially Gene's ferocious 'Larger Than Life,' a made-for-concert Simmons anthem that for whatever reason the group has never played live - a shame, because its one of his better songs. Meanwhile, Ace's 'Rocket Ride' was the only song here that cracked the top forty, and even though the lyrics speak volumes about the group's lack of subtlety, its a catchy tune played with enthusiastic abandon by the group. Frehley's guitar solo is pretty hot too (unfortunately, it's the only new song he actually appears on. Apparently he was too inebriated to bother showing up for the rest of the sessions). As for Paul's main contribution, 'All American Man' is a snappy tune with a killer riff that probably would have come off better if the more masculine Gene had sung it. It is hard not to laugh at Paul lisping his way through the macho lyrics, bragging about being a "thix foot hot luk awl Ameri-can maaaan" or something to that effect. Its still good though.
As for the live portion of the album, its quite enjoyable. Although critics gleefully point out that the album was heavily overdubbed - there's a decidedly less-than-celestial chorus of Paul Stanleys singing backup on some tracks - most fans would still prefer hearing a decent KISS performance to wadding through the reams of flubbed notes that are a normal part of a real KISS concert. Some of the renditions improve vastly on their studio counterparts, particularly 'Beth,' which sounds a lot better without the corny string section, and the party-hearty 'Tomorrow and Tonight,' which sounds a hell of a lot more convincing in an arena setting. Oh, and no KISS live album would be complete without Paul's stupid onstage banter; his vocal wanking on 'I Want You' is so hilariously obnoxious that it deserves repeated listening.
The only major problem with this album is the fact that it contains none of the songs from KISS's first three albums. Although the band's desire not to repeat themselves is admirable, it is difficult to imagine a KISS live album without signature tunes like 'Deuce' or 'Rock and Roll All Night." All of this highlights the fact that the band's more recent material is not as strong as the selections on Alive. Sadly, this album is, for all intents and purposes, the end of the run for KISS. Sadly, the third installment in the Alive series would be much worse....
RATING: 6
PLAY THESE: TONIGHT YOU BELONG TO ME, MOVE ON, IT'S ALRIGHT
SKIP THESE: none
A cynical marketing scheme if I ever saw one, Paul Stanley (1978) is one of the infamous four solo KISS albums that were released ON THE SAME DAY back in 1978. All but Ace's were instantly delegated to the bargain bins of music store across America, where they have remained to this day. Truth be told, KISS were actually still selling as many albums as they did back in 1976/77 - the only problem was that the fan base was fragmenting, as the kids followed their favorite "hero" to the frontiers of solo stardom. Instead of buying all four solo albums, many kids were just buying one. Sadly, this meant that unity was breaking down not only within the band, but within the KISS Army itself. It was the "beginning of the end" for the original KISS lineup, even if nobody could see it at the time. There was still money rolling in, and the band would later reach its zenith in mass popularity with Dynasty in 1979. On the surface, things looked good. Sure, the members of KISS all released solo albums, but they all carried the KISS logo on the left hand corner of the album sleeve. KISS was still a band. Weren't they?
The answer, of course, was "sort of." Each of these solo albums prove that no single member of the band was capable of even coming close to matching the excitement of KISS with its membership intact. Case in point is Paul Stanley's effort. I bought it about seventeen years ago, but didn't listen to it that often. It sounded a bit "wussy" to me, even though I still had to admit that the softer ('Take Me Away') tunes were still pretty decent, and had a new "epic" quality about them that I hadn't ever heard before on KISS album. That said, it is still the solo album that sounds the most KISS-like most of the time, as the others dare to stray off into hitherto unknown musical terrain. Not Paul. His album actually sounds like a the transition album between the crude, brash Love Gun (1977) and the sleek, disco-ish hard rock of the forthcoming Dynasty.
There are some good songs here, even if it sounds like a slightly less inspired version of KISS. 'Move On' rocks almost as hard as anything on the early KISS albums, and even though I'm not partial to the female backup singers, it is one catchy little tune. Also good are 'Tonight You Belong To Me,' which has the patented Stanley soft-loud arrangement thing, as well as 'It's Alright,' which sounds like a Rock and Roll Over outtake (and I mean that in a good way). But other than that, there aren't very many memorable tracks to be found on this album. True, nothing really stinks here, but there is little doubt that there are too many filler-type songs that fail to leave a lasting impression. In the end, this album is recommendable only to the diehard KISS fan. You can find better Paul Stanley music on the first six KISS studio albums - by a long shot.
RATING: 5
PLAY THESE: TOSSIN' AND TURNIN', I'M GONNA LOVE YOU, KISS THE GIRL GOODBYE
SKIP THESE: YOU MATTER TO ME, THAT'S THE KIND OF SUGAR PAPA LIKES
Few albums in rock history have been as maligned as Peter Criss' debut 1978 solo album. The critics hated it when it first came out. Hell, they STILL hate it. Former KISS bandmate Paul Stanley once gave it 0 out of 5 stars in an interview. Even KISS fans are nearly unanimous in their hatred of this music. After all the negative exposure this album has received over the years, I was expecting to dislike the it, but quite honestly I find it to be pretty decent. Sure, none of the tracks is exceptional, but Peter pours his heart and soul into this album - and that counts for a lot. Yes, he sounds like Bob Seeger at times (say it ain't so!), but Peter's raspy voice was made for singing this kind of faux-R & B material. He's got a great "rock 'n roll" voice - his pitch ain't perfect, but he can scream and growl with the best of 'em.
The best songs are the rockin' ones, in particular the energetic 'Tossin' and Turnin,'' which is probably the only track on the album that could potentially fit on a KISS album (think 'Getaway' from Dressed To Kill), as well as 'I'm Gonna Love You,' which boasts some raucous Peter vocals. There are some decent ballads as well, with the orchestral-embellished 'Easy Thing' leading the way in terms of quality (great vocals on this track!), although the somewhat cheesier acoustic guitar-based, Beatlesque number 'Kiss The Girl Goodbye' is a standout as well. Truth be told, I was expecting an album full of 'Beth' facsimiles, but in reality there is nothing on this album that is anywhere near as schmaltzy as the Criss' chart-topping KISS hit. And that's a good thing!
In the end, this album is nowhere near as bad as it has been described over the years. Unlike some of the other 1978 KISS solo albums, Peter had the guts to go out on a limb and do something completely different. Although Peter failed in his ambition to become the new Boz Scaggs (don't even get me started on the dreadful 'That's The Kind Of Sugar Papa Likes'), it is admirable that he went out on a limb and put his reputation on the line. Five out of ten.
RATING: 6
PLAY THESE: RADIOACTIVE, SEE YOU TONIGHT, MR. MAKE BELIEVE
SKIP THESE: TUNNEL OF LOVE, TRUE CONFESSIONS, SEE YOU IN YOUR DREAMS
The most eclectic of the four 1978 KISS solo albums, Gene Simmons has often been criticized by the KISS Army for its "poppy" sound and uncharacteristic musical diversions. To a certain extent, I can understand where the detractors are coming from. The majority of the tracks lack the raw, aggressive edge that is the hallmark of Gene's better loved KISS songs, and the over-the-top arrangements and sleek late 70's production are the antithesis of the garage-band-turned-arena-rock sound of early KISS. Some fans are also critical of many of the guest players who appear on the album, many of whom lack any sort of hard rock credibility (including Gene's girlfriend Cher, the one-hit-wonder folky Janis Ian (!?), Bob Seger (doh!), and disco diva Donna Summer). However, guitarists Joe Perry (Aerosmith) and Rick Nielsen (Cheap Trick) also play on many of the tracks, so it would be wrong to get the impression that the album doesn't rock at all. Truth be told, about half of the songs wouldn't sound out of place on a late 70's KISS album.
As far as the OTHER half of the songs are concerned, some of them are actually quite good if you are willing to approach the album with an open mind. There are three Beatlesque compositions on the album, all of which feature acoustic guitars, lush harmonies, and surprisingly inventive chord progressions. Gene Simmons sings surprisingly well on all of the tracks, proving that "The Demon" is capable of more than just bellowing at the top of his lungs. The best of the bunch is 'See You Tonight,' which has a nice arrangement and a roaming, melodic, McCartney-like bass line. The wistful 'Mr. Make Believe' is less immediate, but after a couple of listens its virtues will reveal themselves, namely the nice melody, effective orchestral arrangement, and excellent harmony vocals. The only Beatle-influenced tune that falls a bit flat is the ambitious 'Always Near You/ Nowhere To Hide' medley, which is a bit lackluster during the first couple of minutes. The harmonies during 'Always Near You' sound flat and just plain wrong, and the tempo drags a bit too. However, the 'Nowhere To Hide' climax is great - on of the best moments on the album - and Gene's falsetto is surprisingly effective.
As for the rest of the album, most of the songs fall within the "pop-rock" genre. The only standout rocker is 'Radioactive,' which delivers the goods with a strong hook, although the extended "scary" intro with its discordant violins and fake demonic laughter is completely unnecessary. However, it is a very strong track, and a good choice for lead-off single. The epic 'Man Of 1000 Faces' almost rates as high, but the overused 'Baba O'Riley' chord progression in the chorus is a bit too much. Not a bad tune though.
Most of the other rockers are decent, but they lack that certain "something" that makes good songs stand out of the pack. The punchy 'Burning Up With Fever' sizzles during the verses, but the female backing vocals prove to be a distraction during the otherwise strong chorus. The crude 'Tunnel Of Love' is unremarkable Gene Simmons-by-numbers at its most annoying, and the wank-like 'True Confessions' sound like something Gene Simmons could write in his sleep. The over-the-top, kitschy re-make of 'See You In Your Dreams' is completely unnecessary, and comes close to butchering an otherwise good song. I suppose some fans find the alternate lyrics interesting, but the female back-up singers absolutely butcher the chorus. Terrible.
The other major point of interest on the album is Gene's seemingly uncharacteristic cover of - get this! - the Disney standard 'When You Wish Upon A Star.' On the surface, this appears to be a ludicrous selection, but Gene's decision to cover it makes more sense if you know the story behind it. You see, Gene emigrated to America as a child, growing up in a poverty-stricken, single parent home. He spoke no English when he arrived, and was tormented by the other kids at school for being "stupid." (Interestingly, one of Gene's tormentors was a young Peter Criss, who used to chased Simmons around the neighborhood). In short, the odds were stacked against him. However, Gene developed a love for Disney movies, 'When You Wish Upon A Star,' was a song that struck a deep chord within him as a child. Taking the song's message to heart, young Gene Simmons dared to dream and in so doing eventually became amazingly successful. When viewed as a song of self-actualization, the decision to cover 'When You Wish Upon A Star' actually appears to be a ballsy one.
All in all, Gene Simmons is an inconsistent album, albeit one of that is impressively diverse (and boasts some of the best songs Gene Simmons ever wrote). Unlike Paul Stanley's solo album, which sticks with the typical KISS formula with predictably underwhelming results, Gene Simmons' record takes some significant - and admirable - musical risks. A high six out of ten, it is.
RATING: 9
PLAY THESE: RIP IT OUT, OZONE, NEW YORK GROOVE
SKIP THESE: none
The best (and biggest selling) 1978 KISS solo album by a mile, Ace Frehley proves that Ace is easily the most talented member of KISS. This album is simply a great hard rock record. At the time, few people in the music business believed that Ace could pull off a solo record. Sure, he had written a few great songs for KISS over the years, but his compositional efforts were always dwarfed by Gene and Paul's numerous contributions, and Ace had only sung lead on one KISS song ('Shock Me') prior to 1978. When one also considers Ace's notoriously heavy drug and alcohol consumption, the prospects of Ace actually coming up with something decent appeared to be remote. However, Ace managed to produce an album that in many respects is the best album that bears the KISS logo, even if it is a solo record.
In terms of the album's sound, it is essentially a no frills rock 'n roll record. It doesn't rely on cheesy "cock rock" lyrics to make their impact (like most of the post-Love Gun KISS albums do), and it's kind of nice to hear KISS-like music that doesn't feature the overbearing, obnoxious Paul Stanley on vocals. Unlike Paul's solo album, which relies to heavily on the bombastic (and by this time, clichéd) power chording, Ace actually uses real guitar riffs that get implanted in your head. Not only that, but the songs have some real hooks going for them. Paul's songs sometimes take on the appearance of catchiness through endless repetition, but Ace actually has the ability to use actual melodies to get his point across. Take 'Speedin' Back To My Baby' for example, which has a great vocal hook in the chorus, while the guitars chug along like all good rock 'n roll guitars should in the verses. As for 'Rip It Out,' it can only be describe as the archetypical Ace Frehley song: loud, fun, catchy, and full of piss 'n vinegar. Great guns, this good!
And seeing as this is an Ace Frehley album, there are several "drug songs" as well. The best of the bunch is 'Ozone,' which is probably one of the most pro-drug songs you will ever hear. If you doubt me, check out this verse:
Now I'm the kinda guy who likes getting
high
Getting high and dry, and I do it all the time
If you think it's a crime and you don't wanna try
Something that'll make you high, then I think I'll say goodbye
The song is very catchy though, even if I swear that I've heard that riff somewhere before. Ace's guitar work is ballsy and melodic, and the overdubbed acoustic guitar somehow manages to make the riffs sound even more powerful. The cocaine psychosis of 'Snowblind' is also a treat, and although its impact is less immediate than that of 'Ozone,' the main chorus riff is pure magic, and the sped-up solo section with the organ overdub is very effective - you'd never hear a complex arrangement like that on a KISS album. And when Ace sings "I'm snowblind, I'm lost in space," you can't help but believe him. The other song about substance abuse is 'Wiped Out,' which this time concentrates on Ace's undying love of booze. It's a decent tune, with some interesting musical ideas and an ambitious arrangement, but it seems a bit scattershot overall.
The best moment on the record, however, is Ace's infectious cover of 'New York Groove,' which reached #13 on the Billboard singles chart back in 1978. The fact that Ace scored the biggest hit off any of the solo KISS albums must have been hard for Gene and Paul to stomach. Indeed, the commercial success of Ace's solo album transformed the balance of power within KISS during the next couple of years, as Ace would later dominate albums like Dynasty and Unmasked.
In the end, it is no accident that Ace Frehley is generally regarded as the best of the KISS solo albums. Paul Stanley's album stuck to the KISS formula (minus the balls), while Gene Simmons and Peter Criss branched out into other genres with limited success. Ace, on the other hand, stayed true to his roots and kicked some ass with a set of killer tunes and stellar guitar playing. He isn't the greatest singer in the world, but his enthusiasm more than compensates for his occasional pitch issues. Nine out of ten.
RATING: 10
PLAY THESE: ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT, DETROIT ROCK CITY, DEUCE
SKIP THESE: STRUTTER '78, BETH
This, truth be told, is the only KISS studio album that you need to own. Featuring the very best that KISS has to offer, Double Platinum is a stunning 20 song compilation that cuts right to the chase - meaning you don't have to sit through all of the filler in order to hear the best stuff anymore. As with any compilation, there are a few questionable additions/omissions (where's 'Shout it out Loud?!!'), but overall this is a very decent overview of the group's classic era. The only major blemish is the band's ill-advised decision to re-record 'Strutter' as a disco track, which means completists will have to shell out an extra twenty bucks to get the classic original version on one of KISS's other dozen or so inferior compilations. It should also be noted that many of the tracks have been remixed, which has given diehard KISS fans with too much time on their hands ample opportunity to play "spot the changes." Whoopee. I do think that some of the re-mixes sound better than the originals though (especially 'Hotter Than Hell,' which has been sped up), and it is nice to hear 'Detroit Rock City' without the lengthy intro.
RATING: 6
PLAY THESE: I WAS MADE FOR LOVIN' YOU, SURE KNOW SOMETHING, SAVE YOUR LOVE
SKIP THESE: CHARISMA
The group's infamous crack at disco or, to be more precise, KISSco (ha!), Dynasty is a passable attempt at dance music that isn't as bad as it sounds. Heck, it even contains one bona fide KISS classic that proved to be the group's last big hit until the late '80's: 'I Was Made For Lovin' You.' Its a groovy, catchy dance tune with big guitars that still sounds like KISS in spite of the fact that it employs synthesizers - a first on a KISS recording. The bad news is that it's the only truly memorable track on the entire album. Sure, 'Sure Know Somethin'' was a minor hit and a decent enough song, but there is some undefined missing element at work that somehow prevents it from truly grabbing the listener. However, there is some good news. The record's overall sound is better than average for a KISS album, and the group's new disco/hard rock sound keeps things a little more interesting than usual. Surprisingly, the star of the album is guitarist Ace Frehley, who, on the hot on heels of his successful 1978 solo album, delivers two solid compositions ('Hard Times' and 'Save Your Love'). Heck, he even sings lead vocals on a stellar cover of the Rolling Stones '2000 Man,' which even manages to outstrip the original version - and by a large margin at that. On the downside, KISS bassist and renowned male slut Gene Simmons appears to have sleepwalked through sessions, contributing only the mediocre 'X-Ray Eyes' and the unspeakably bad 'Charisma,' a swaggering, self-centered celebration of rock star ego that contains not even the tiniest trace of irony ("is it my personality/ or just my sexuality/ what is my charisma?"). Sure, Gene. Sure.
RATING: 3
PLAY THESE: IS THAT YOU?, TALK TO ME, NAKED CITY
SKIP THESE: SHE'S SO EUROPEAN, WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO 'ROUND, EASY AS IT SEEMS, etc....
Holy crap, this album stinks. Stupid album cover, too. If it wasn't the almighty KISS we were talking about here I'd swear that this album was created by a prancing, lisping band of eunuchs - it just ain't got any balls. None. Zilch. I mean, what on earth were KISS thinking when they decided to release this boring MOR drivel? Apart from Ace's catchy uptempo rocker, 'Talk To Me,' there is little or nothing on this album that sounds even remotely like the virile KISS of old. To be fair, the album was recorded at a time when KISS was in the midst of lineup changes; Peter Criss had just walked out on the band (good riddance, I say), and the boys were forced to rely on session man Anton Fig during the recording sessions. To put it simply, the album just doesn't measure up. Vini Poncia's production is surprisingly sub-par, as the album sounds flat and murky; there are too many synths, not enough guitars, and the drums have a generic eighties soft rock kind of sound. Even worse is the songwriting, which can only be described as lightweight and embarrassingly pedestrian (especially Paul Stanley's listless contributions). Apparently KISS had been seduced by the success of their disco hit 'I was Made for Loving You,' and were attempting to make an album of similar lightweight fluff that would garner further hit singles. Needless to say, it didn't work. Sure, there are a few minor gems to be found - Gene's 'Naked City' has a nice melody and cool bassline - but only the most dedicated KISS fans will have the desire to sift through the filler to find it.
RATING: 1
PLAY THESE: I (BELIEVE IN ME)
SKIP THESE: DARK LIGHT, ESCAPE FROM THE ISLAND, UNDER THE ROSE
Not content to alienate their fan base with the appallingly lightweight Unmasked, KISS decimated its already-flagging reputation by releasing this unbearably overblown rock opera. Essentially, Music From 'The Elder' is convoluted prog rock - minus any semblance of brains and/or musicianship that normally accompany such endeavors. In usual circumstances, one would applaud such an an effort to branch out and explore new musical territory, but hey, this is KISS we're talking about. The band can only succeed if it keeps on doing what it does best - recording fun, catchy party albums, and leaving the highbrow "art" to the artists. Sadly, bandleaders Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons failed to recognize this and, convinced they were The Who or some other intellectually-leaning group, decided to write a rock opera. The results, predictably, almost destroyed the band, with guitarist Ace Frehley walking out not long after the album's release. As for the opera's plotline, it is basically non-existent, and while it's clear the story follows the medieval-era adventures of a heroic young lad named something or other, it is not clear exactly what happens - or even what is supposed to happen. Such pretentious transgressions could be forgiven if the music was good, but sadly it is not. The arrangements are overblown, the production is flat, the musicianship mediocre (new drummer Eric Carr fails to make an impression), and the songs contain few, if any, memorable hooks (the one exception being 'I Believe in Me"). Sadly, even worse was yet to come in the mid-1980's.
RATING: 8
PLAY THESE: I LOVE IT LOUD, WAR MACHINE, CREATURES OF THE NIGHT
SKIP THESE: KEEP ME COMIN'
Whoa, what a turnaround! Ushering in a brief period of musical revitalization, Creatures of the Night sees KISS turn its collective back on pop, disco, and progressive rock, returning to the band's hard rock roots with a vengeance. Part of the album's greatness stems from the fact that KISS were finally putting inter-group turmoil behind them, settling on a more stable lineup that allowed the band to ignore outside distractions and concentrate on making the album everyone knew they were capable of recording. This is where newcomer Eric Carr finally makes his mark, creating a thunderously heavy drum sound that remains the most distinctive feature of this album. And after listening to this record, it is difficult not to agree with Gene Simmon's controversial assessment that Carr was a far better drummer than Peter Criss.
The other notable feature of this album is the the absence of lead guitarist Ace Frehley, who does not appear on any of the album's ten tracks (despite appearing on the album sleeve and promotional videos). Simmons and Stanley, realizing that the Frehley era was over, began shopping around for a new guitarist before settling on Vinnie Vincent, who co-wrote and played on several of the album's tracks. Although the egotistical Vincent was difficult to work with, and later challenged the equally power-hungry Stanley and Simmons co-regency for control of the group, his awesome contributions to Creatures of the Night far outweigh the losses sustained by Frehley's departure.
The songs - with the exception of Stanley's limp-wristed 'Keep Me Comin' - are all heavy metal classics, and the reinvigorated band sounds eager to prove that it could still deliver the goods. Of course, the most famous song is 'I Love it Loud,' a brash Simmons anthem that utilizes the 'We Will Rock You' drum pattern to great effect. Other showstoppers include 'Saint and Sinner,' a melodic-but-heavy rocker and 'War Machine,' a fantastically heavy ode to Armageddon that was co-written by a young Bryan Adams of all people (astute listeners will recognize that the song's riff was lifted by the Stone Temple Pilots' for their hit 1993 single 'Sex Type Thing'). Sadly, this fantastic album sold poorly, forcing KISS to go back to the drawing board in order to resurrect their flagging career. And we all know what would happen next....
RATING: 5
PLAY THESE: LICK IT UP, A MILLION TO ONE
SKIP THESE: YOUNG AND WASTED, FITS LIKE A GLOVE, ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE
What? No makeup? This is sacrilege....A desperate attempt to woo back old fans, Lick it Up marks the infamous moment when KISS ran out of options and pulled the only remaining publicity stunt that could attract attention - taking off the makeup. Yes, Lick it Up marks the first time that KISS appeared in public without the kabuki face paint, a gutsy move that satisfied the public's longstanding curiosity about their appearance - but little else. Looking back on the event, it's difficult to understand what all the fuss was about. As everyone now knows, KISS without makeup is not exactly the most attractive of visual propositions: Gene Simmons looks like an escaped sex offender with a bad toupee (which, to a certain extent, he is), while Paul Stanley's droopy face resembles a melting ice cream cone. Nevertheless, the great unmasking of '83 was probably a good career move for KISS. It generated new interest in the band, which resulted in heavier MTV rotation and increased album sales. And while taking off the makeup made KISS virtually indistinguishable from the million-or-so other hair metal bands in the world, it certainly helped them survive the 80's - which may or may not be a good thing, depending on your opinion of KISS.
As far as the music is concerned, it's a big disappointment after the remarkable listenable Creatures of the Night. In contrast to the thunderous, bass-heavy 1982 album, Lick It Up sounds like any other 1980's pop metal album: repetitive choruses, misogynist lyrics, tinny production, echoey drums, and abysmally thin guitar sounds. Thankfully, the songwriting hasn't completely deteriorated just yet, with new guitarist Vinnie Vincent co-writing some decent tunes with other band members, including the infectiously sleazy title track, 'Lick it Up'. As for the rest of the material, it isn't completely hopeless, although the album should come with a warning label informing potential buyers that Paul Stanley raps on 'All Hell Is Breaking Loose.' And no, I'm not joking. He actually freestyles during the verses.
RATING: 3
PLAY THESE: HEAVEN'S ON FIRE
SKIP THESE: THIEF IN THE NIGHT, WHILE THE CITY SLEEPS, BURN BITCH BURN
Blah. This is a chore to sit through. This is the fateful moment when KISS made the full transition from a rock and roll band to a generic hairspray joke. Part of the problem stems from the "disappearance" of Gene Simmons, who went AWAL during most of the 1980's. Present in body but not in spirit, the KISS bassist spent the decade pursuing a dubious acting career and various business ventures - still touring, writing, and recording with the band, but quite obviously going through the motions. In fact, the formerly prolific bassist would not write another good song for almost ten years. Sole leadership of the band - musical and otherwise - gradually shifted towards Mr. Paul Stanley, who went about remaking KISS in the hallowed, poodle-haired image of early Bon Jovi. Changes abounded. First, outside writers - such as the detestable Desmond Child - were brought in to update the band's old-fashioned seventies sound. Next, Vinnie Vincent was dropped in favor of Eddie Van Halen copycat Mark St. John, who dazzled fans with his ridiculously high-speed fretwork. And last but certainly not least, copious amounts of hairspray were used to ensure the band had the biggest hair this side of Ratt - or at least Stryper. When one takes these factors into consideration, it should come as no surprise that Animalize has not aged particularly well. The only decent tune is 'Heaven's On Fire,' a simple, three-chord metal classic which benefits greatly from not having a Mark St. John guitar solo. But apart from this single moment of glory, Animalize almost entirely the Paul Stanley Show, complete with generic metal posturing and precious little substance.
RATING: 1
PLAY THESE: TEARS ARE FALLING, WHO WANTS TO BE LONELY
SKIP THESE: I'M ALIVE, RADAR FOR LOVE, UH! ALL NIGHT
This is even worse than the last one. The pop metal sound is more generic, the songwriting more derivative, and Paul Stanley more annoying than on Animalize. Nevertheless, there is one positive that we can glean from this whole experience: this is KISS's absolute worst record. This means things can only get better...relatively speaking, of course. The only good track is Paul's 'Tears are Falling,' a moody power ballad that - horror of horrors - even has some balls going for it. As for the rest of the album, it is essentially comprised the following: three or four ridiculously fast "speed metal" tunes, a couple of sappy Paulie ballads, a few mid-tempo Stanley rockers, and a bucketful of throwaway, non-descript Simmons material.
Although most of the album is an embarrassment, two tracks in particular stand out as being especially unbearable - 'Radar for Love' and 'Uh! All Night.' The first track is a laughable note-for-note rip-off of Zeppelin's classic 'Black Dog,' while the latter tune is easily the stupidest thing that ever popped out of Paul Stanley's ass - and I literally mean it fell out of his colon. I mean, who on God's green earth would write a song called 'Uh! All Night?!!' Yes, I understand the song is supposed to be a metaphor for sex, but all it does is conjure up nasty images of a night of Chinese smorgasbord-induced gas pain. If you're still not convinced then I would suggest obtaining a copy of the music video, which contains such visual delights as an over-the-hill Gene Simmons in drag and an obnoxiously enthusiastic Paul Stanley bouncing around on a fluffy pink bed. Lovely. And very, very sexy.
Oh, I should also mention this album sees the debut of yet another "new" KISS guitarist: the immortal Bruce Kulick. Whoopee! I just love his screechy, squealy solos! It's as good thing they got rid of Ace, 'cause this guy is a GUITAR GOD! Just as an aside, did you know that he used to play with Michael Bolton? You'd never know it - he's sooo HEAVY.
RATING: 2
PLAY THESE: CRAZY CRAZY NIGHTS, REASON TO LIVE
SKIP THESE: MY WAY, BANG BANG YOU, THIEF IN THE NIGHT
This album is definitely an improvement over the last one, but let's not get too carried away - it still sucks. Big time. The only difference is that a few of the tunes are slightly stronger this time around, with the catchy pop metal of the title track and the reasonably melodic ballad 'Reason To Live' providing KISS fans with a glimmer of hope - however small it might be. However, Crazy Crazy Nights is still a rather tedious listen, and in some ways it is even worse than 1985's Asylum. For starters, most of the songs are embarrassingly lightweight pop; most of the tunes are so MOR it would be a stretch to call them "rock music." Truth be told, the album contains nothing more (and nothing less) than generic 1980's synth pop, and not very well done generic 1980's synth pop at that. Another disappointment, then.
SMASHES,
THRASHES, AND HITS (1988)
RATING: 8
PLAY THESE: DETROIT ROCK CITY, I LOVE IT LOUD, ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT
SKIP THESE: LET'S PUT THE X IN SEX, (YOU MAKE ME) ROCK HARD
A decent KISS compilation that aptly summarizes the band's pre-1988 output, Smashes, Thrashes, and Hits will forever hold a special place in my heart as my very first KISS album. Sure, it has more than its fair share of flaws - the two new tracks stink, and the band's distinctive 70's and 80's periods don't really gel together - but when pared down to essentials it's an entertaining overview of the band's career. And best of all, you don't have to sit through Animalize to hear 'Heaven's on Fire' anymore!! Isn't that exciting? One of the more interesting moments is the group's rerecording of 'Beth,' which - sacrilege of sacrileges - features drummer Eric Carr on vocals for the very first time on a KISS recording. The song is still pretty cheesy, but it's nice to here Carr's on-pitch singing for a change (as opposed to Peter Criss' out-of-tune warbling on the original version). All in all, this is a nice collection that makes owning any 1980's KISS album superfluous.
RATING: 4
PLAY THESE: FOREVER
SKIP THESE: THE STREET GIVETH AND THE STREET TAKETH AWAY, READ MY BODY, BOOMERANG
Again, a slight improvement, but Hot In The Shade still falls well short of the KISS's best work. Why KISS would decide to release a fifteen-track album when they have enough trouble coming up with one or two good songs is anyone's guess, but there are ample indications that KISS is on the right track once again. The sound is less "pop-metal" than in the past, as the band takes a more straight-ahead, guitar rock approach that would come into fruition on 1992's Revenge. Gene Simmons finally emerges from his ten year jaunt in the musical wilderness, contributing a couple of decent tunes (i.e. 'Betrayed' etc.) that almost deserve repeated listening.
Still, problems abound. Paul Stanley is firmly in control of the music, co-writing a shitload of crappy generic songs with outside hacks like Desmond Child that frankly just don't cut the mustard - or the even the cheese, for that matter. Sure, the shiny big choruses sound good on the surface, but after a while they leave you with the distinct impression you've been cheated. Nevertheless, Stanley does contribute the album's only memorable song, 'Forever,' a decent power ballad that would go on to become the group's biggest hit since 1976's 'Beth.' Don't tell your friends, but Stanley wrote the song with mullet-headed crooner Michael Bolton (yes, that Michael Bolton). As for surprises, there are precious few, although Eric Carr's infectious 'Little Caesar' proves the drummer was a singer/songwriter of some talent. Unfortunately, Hot in the Shade would prove to be Carr's last KISS album; the likeable drummer passed away after a long battle with cancer in late 1991.
RATING: 6
PLAY THESE: UNHOLY, DOMINO, GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU II
SKIP THESE: TOUGH LOVE, SPIT
After a decade (or more) of disappointing fans with crappy album after crappy album, KISS could no longer afford to fleece its fans by 1992. Concert attendance was down, their albums weren't selling, and the grunge revolution had rendered KISS's brand of 80's hair metal obsolete. Fortunately, the new generation of alternative rockers had grown up listening to KISS, and it suddenly became fashionable to claim early KISS as a musical influence (the emphasis being on the word early). Being astute businessmen, Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley realized that in order to capitalize on this newfound interest in the group it was necessary to return to the classic KISS sound. The obvious solution would have been to bring Ace Frehley and Peter Criss back into the fold, but the Simmons and Stanley weren't ready to swallow their pride and pick up the phone - at least not yet. Instead, they brought back longtime lead guitarist Bruce Kulick and recruited respected session drummer Eric Singer, who filled the vacancy left by the recently deceased Eric Carr. Simmons and Stanley even brought back producer Bob Ezrin to oversee the sessions, and the group set about creating an updated version of the classic 1976 album, Destroyer.
All of this lead to the following question: did KISS actually succeed at recreating their "glory days?" Well, sort of. While Revenge is easily the band's best album in a decade, and may even be considered 'really good,' it's missing the infectious chemistry that the original KISS lineup possessed. There is no denying that hired hands Kulick and Singer are consummate professionals, and are far better musicians than Frehley and Criss, but this rag-tag lineup just ain't KISS. Nevertheless, Revenge is still a pretty enjoyable listen. The Simmons material is particularly inspiring, as the iconic bassist contributes two old-style hard rock anthems, the creepy 'Unholy' and the sleazy-but-hilarious 'Domino.' The band's cover of Argent's 'God Gave Rock and Roll To You II' is also excellent, giving fans a rare Simmons/Stanley duet complete with bombastic, melodic guitar riffs and and great arrangement. As for the rest of the album, it is surprisingly consistent. The only major misstep is the stupidly sleazy 'Spit,' which has the audacity to rip off Spinal Tap's comedic 'Big Bottom' ("the bigger the cushion, the better the pushin") without the slightest hint of irony or humor. Still, KISS have done much worse than this.....
RATING: 4
PLAY THESE: I WAS MADE FOR LOVING YOU, GOD GAVE ROCK 'N ROLL TO YOU II
SKIP THESE: FOREVER, DEUCE, ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT
The last in a succession of feeble attempts to prove the band didn't need original members Frehley and Criss, Alive III is an unremarkable live recording that makes a mockery of the classic Alive album series. Although there are a few strong performances - a guitar-heavy rendition of dance track 'I Was Made For Loving You' stands out - the overall sound is that of an a band way past its prime, half-heartedly playing to mostly-empty arenas. Even the group's classic material fails to inspire, which leads to the inescapable conclusion that the unmasked version of KISS has finally reached the end of the line.
KISS
MY ASS: CLASSIC KISS REGROOVED (1994)
RATING: 4
PLAY THESE: HARD LUCK WOMAN
SKIP THESE: GOIN' BLIND, DEUCE
Another "tribute album" in a market flooded with similar well-meaning but ultimately pointless compilations, Kiss My Ass: Classic KISS Regrooved is a vanity project gone awry, a collection of mediocre covers that will please no-one - least of all KISS fans. To me, the most hilarious thing about the album is that, unlike most tribute records, Kiss My Ass was actually organized from start to finish by members of KISS!! That's right, the ever-humble Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley are actually paying tribute to themselves here!! Now isn't that nice? Unfortunately, the results are downright pathetic, especially when considering the high caliber of some of the bands involved. Apart from the excellent Garth Brooks-KISS collaboration 'Hard Luck Woman,' there is really nothing worth listening to on this CD. All we get are lame versions of good songs: most are pointless facsimiles of the originals, and the few that dare to be different stink. Take, for instance, Extreme's abysmal funk-metal treatment of 'Strutter.' The title clearly states that the act of "strutting" is involved, but Extreme insists on turning the classic song into a lame white-boy funk wankfest. What's the point? The faux-funk treatment doesn't suit the song, so why even bother re-working the track? Stupid.
Unfortunately, Extreme are not alone in their failed attempt to be "clever." Sure, Toad the Wet Sprocket's strange, slowed-down version of the rock anthem 'Rock and Roll All Night' deserves some props for sheer balls, but the band falls WAY, WAY, WAY short of the mark. Where the original song sounds like the aural equivalent of the archetypical KISS party, complete with hot tubs and hot chicks, Toad's dreary version sounds like a dreary party with no babes and no fun anywhere in sight. As for the rest of the tracks on the CD, they pretty much follow the originals note-for-note - and in doing so serve no discernable purpose. Anthrax's half-assed, too-fast cover of 'She' sounds like the band was in hurry to get the song over with, and Dinosour Jr.'s horrendous replication of 'Goin' Blind' has an even worse overall sound than the KISS original recording, if that's even possible. I suppose rock lothario Lenny Kravitz's funky version of 'Deuce' is decent enough (Stevie Wonder even contributes some harmonica lines), but when all is said and done the track lacks any sort of passion or purpose (typical of most Kravitz material). In the end, this is a useless throwaway compilation that any self-respecting KISS fan (if there is such an entity) should approach with extreme caution - if at all.
RATING: 6
PLAY THESE: SEE YOU TONIGHT, GOIN' BLIND, NOTHIN' TO LOSE
SKIP THESE: NONE
Whoopee. Another KISS live album. Just what we really needed. Hold the phone....What did you say? All four original members of KISS play together on some of the tracks? And there's more? There's is going to be a reunion tour, with makeup and platform boots? Jesus Murphy, this is what we've been waiting for fifteen years! All kidding aside, MTV Unplugged is easily one of the most important moments in KISS history. Yes, this is the hallowed occasion when Stanley, Simmons, Frehley, and Criss momentarily (or monetarily) put aside their differences and finally gave the fans what they'd been asking for for a very, very long time. Yes, its all about the money, and yes, the band still hates each other's guts, but when it comes right down to it, this is one of the only reunions in rock history that can look you straight in the eye without flinching.
I don't think I'll spoil anything if I give away the plot, so here it goes. The album begins innocently enough, just the newest incarnation of KISS banging away on acoustic guitars, with some occasional Paul Stanley onstage banter and random audience applause spicing things up just a little bit. The band reaches way, way back into its catalogue, dusting off old chestnuts such as 'Goin' Blind' and 'See You Tonight' (actually a Simmons solo track) and driving the fans wild with laid-back renditions of the usual standards. Surprisingly, the band sounds pretty good unplugged; the musicianship is tight, the vocals passable, and everyone involved is having a good time. But there is a murmur in the crowd - something BIG is happening behind the scenes. Rumor has it that Peter Criss and Ace Frehley have been spotted in the building, and that they're going to join KISS onstage for a few numbers. And then suddenly, just when it appears that the whisperings were nothing but vicious lies, out come Ace and Peter, joining all four current KISS members on stage - much to the delight of the fans in attendance. The band starts playing and quickly gets into a groove, the years of estrangement evaporating in mere seconds as the unbelieving crowd watches in utter amazement. The original KISS still delivers the goods! Hired guns Eric Singer and Bruce Kulick play on but exchange worried glances, fearful in the knowledge that Simmons and Stanley will soon hand them their walking papers. But no-one else in the building shares in their disappointment. The band closes its set with fan favorite 'Rock and Roll All Night' and everyone goes home knowing that this is not the end of the story, that there is a reunion tour in the works. A great moment.
CARNIVAL
OF SOULS: THE FINAL SESSIONS (1997)
RATING: 2
PLAY THESE: NONE
SKIP THESE: ?
KISS go grunge? Missing the grunge gravy train by about five years, KISS unwisely decides "update" its sound with Carnival of Souls, a poor imitation of 90's alternative rock that does little to improve the band's sinking reputation. Recorded prior to the 1996 KISS reunion tour, the album was shelved because Stanley and Simmons weren't satisfied with the final product - and it's not hard to see why. As a matter of fact, the album was only released because it had already been extensively bootlegged. But go ahead and satisfy your curiosity, if you must. If Bruce Kulick singing lead on 'I Walk Alone' is your idea of a good time, then by all means, go ahead and buy this album. But if you're like the rest of the civilized world and have standards, stay far away from Carnival of Souls.
RATING: 3
PLAY THESE: WITHIN, WE ARE ONE
SKIP THESE: I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE STATE OF ROCK AND ROLL, YOU WANTED THE BEST YOU GOT THE BEST, I CAN'T FIND MY HOME
You wanted the best, but did you get it? The answer, alas, is a no. While the original KISS lineup still kicks ass in a live setting, the ageing metal gods once again fail to come up with the classic album everyone was hoping for. Once again the band attempts to re-make Destroyer, bringing in the late, "great" Canadian producer Bruce Fairburn to whip the boys into shape and rehash past glories. Unfortunately, poor old Bruce didn't have a lot to work with this time around. Although band leaders Stanley and Simmons play like the consummate professionals that they are, Ace and Peter simply don't have the chops anymore - which means they don't play on much of the record. And it definitely shows. You see, Psycho Circus doesn't differ very much from 1992's Revenge - the sound is still big, dumb pop metal, with none of the British glam rock influences that made their earlier recordings so enjoyable. In fact, Psycho Circus is worse than Revenge in terms of its songwriting, with the notable exception of Gene's tunes. Indeed, Simmons contributes a few gems, including the creepy 'Within' and a bona-fide feel-good KISS anthem 'We Are One,' which contains Beatlesque harmonies and a snappy chorus. Sadly, such moments of greatness are few and far between.. Paul Stanley is at his all-time worst here, writing cliche-ridden formulaic hair metal at an unprecedented rate; the cumulative effect of tracks such as 'I Pledge Allegiance to the State of Rock and Roll' is not difficult to imagine. As for Ace Frehley, his sole contribution is the unremarkable 'Into the Void,' which sounds like a Lick It Up throwaway with overdubbed Ace vocals. And Peter? Don't even ask. Its just that kind of record.
Just a thought, but doesn't the title track sound a lot like Alice Cooper's 'Hello Hurray?' Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Cooper's song have a circus theme as well? Oh, and isn't it funny how much the beginning of 'Raise Your Glasses' resembles The Who's 'Baba O'Riley?'